•Doing hard things•

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do, that I never wanted to do, I did this past weekend. Never mind that it happened right after a nerve racking flight. 

Something that I learned this weekend was... well I actually learned a lot of stuff this weekend... but one thing was that when you are in control of the plane you don't realize things that the other people in the plane realize. For example when taking from runway 31R in Southport, Manitoba I couldn't tell that the nose was to high. It felt fine when you have ten other things you are supposed to be doing and thinking about. But when you sit in the back seat of the plane you can totally tell that the pilot is in to steep of a climb.

So it is with life. When I am in a hard time or even just in daily life, other people can tell things about me that I can't. Sometimes you as the person in the situation can't see what the big picture might be. 

I know the pain of heart break. When you realize just how much someone means to you when you can't be with them anymore. It's hard. But I also know the God who knows the big picture and why things have to happen, for what purpose. He gives strength to get through it and he also knows exactly what you feel. 

He knows how you cry yourself to sleep every night. He knows your deepest fears. He knows the pain you feel, and as cliché as this may sound, He loves you and he will never leave you. Even the rough patches have a purpose behind them. They are all apart of a greater and bigger picture the no human can know. In a odd way it is a great comfort not knowing the big picture. I believe we as humans wouldn't do to well knowing what was coming in the future. 

I learned something a while back. When people of God or people you know would actually care about knowing the truth ask you how you are doing do you answer with the truth or with the accepted answer of "good". Fellow believers in Christ should be holding each other in prayer. They should be interceding on each others behalf. As a body, as the family of Jesus we should be there for each other when one of us is in need, going through that rough patch so to speak. So I have challenged myself to start telling the truth to my brothers and sisters in Christ that I know genuinely care about me. We all bring a different gift to the body of Christ and we are all needed.

God made us all with a passionate love that we can't even begin to comprehend. He desires that no one perish. So when life hits us with hard things. Things that we would rather not walk through remember this verse... 

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1   

....patience my dear....

I'm a big fan of doing things right, but I'm also a big fan of getting it done asap! "I'd like that thing done within twenty-four hours if that works for you!" But I'm learning that not all things happen fast. 

I'm in a situation in life where waiting and having patience is basically all I'm doing. It can be very trying, and I've had to hold myself back from doing something to make it go faster on many occasions. I have really had to slow down and look at the big picture. And that ain't as easy as it may sound! As my journal can well attest to! 

You see I have this friend.... well ok more than just a friend... one of my best friends! This best friend's personality is to take things slow, think through the possibilities and weigh the consequences..... most of the time that is. Where as I (compared to them) throw myself headlong into things and do stuff very spontaneously! They just look at me and shake their head. 

"Please tell me why I just did that!?" 

"Oh Regan...." :)

The Lord is showing me the benefits of the slow and gradual. Of waiting. Of having patience. Of being silent. 

When someone is going to have a baby it takes awhile for that baby to form and develop. The parents don't just all of a sudden have a child in their arms in less then twenty-four hours of finding out they're pregnant! 

No they wait! They anticipat! They pick names for the child! They ready a room for him. They talk to the baby so it will know their voices. They get others excited for the arrival too! They treasure the child before they even see him! 

I must learn to wait. To anticipate what is in the future but not ignore the present. I must nurture the room in my heart that is for the love of my life, Jesus! I want Jesus to know my voice, and I want to know His! I must get others excited for His arrival here and now! But the point I must always remember is to always be eternity conscious with a head on my shoulders. 

Not to ride a roller-coaster of emotions, but to be stable about who I am in the here and now. Serving Christ as I daily live life!

   "Have patience my dear!" - My Mom 

_alone_

There is a whole bunch of things that impacted my life this last year. Most of which tested and strengthened my faith in Christ Jesus! Although I'm not going to write about them, I think it is good to look back over your life and see God's goodness over the years! Not to dwell on the past mind you, but just see were God has brought you!

I kicked off the year of 2015 sick! And I think it did something to my logic! :)  I flew for the first time ever on June 28! And started flight school on October 23! I've now put over 50 hours into flight school study and only had forty-five minutes worth of flying! But my goodness it is so worth it!

Many people think I'm crazy! I think I got some of my mom's knack for spontaneity!

The feeling that comes with soaring over the prairie and seeing everything from above is really hard to describe. I wrote in my journal a few weeks ago a prayer that while in the air I wouldn't just see land, trees, houses and horizon, but that I would see God's goodness. That I would be thinking of Him!

I have the privilege of sharing flying lessons with a friend. So while he is in control of flying I get to sit back, relax and enjoy the view!

When he took off for the first time I stared out the window, my eyes fixed on the shadow of the plane becoming smaller and smaller, and nose up we climbed. Truly an exhilarating feeling!   

I watched the trees become toothpicks and the houses become toys. The little, seemingly toy, vehicles traveled on, navigating their way through the streets. I became increasingly aware of how small we really are! I felt as though I could just reach down and pick up that house over there and move it to a more convenient location in this game called life. Flying puts a lot into perspective.

I can see why flying would be a stress reliever.... you have no cares except keeping your plane in the air (which most times isn't as hard as it sounds!), and you then look around at life from a new perspective.

You feel alone. You and God.

     

....I Believe....

This is a interesting day that we are living in! In Canada we just finished Federal elections, we are seeing morality be tossed to the side in the name of equality, love, and convenience, the world is falling apart right before our eyes! A month ago students were killed because they were Christians in the U S of A. Really there is nothing I can say that we don't already know and are witnessing, but there are many choices we have to make on a daily bases, one being: Do I believe? Even till death?

When I was in Montreal at the beginning of this year, I had a lady, who worked for the National Film Board of Canada, teaching me how to make a certain type of documentary. I had known prior to going that I would be making a film so I had prepared ahead of time. When she read my script for the first time she looked at me, called me into a different room, and told me that I need to rewrite the script. It was..... "to..... deep".

 You see this film is going to be viewed by a lot of people, and I knew Jesus wanted me to use this opportunity to give the gospel.  I was up till midnight that night rewriting the script, in our tiny hotel room. The next day I remade the movie, recorded audio, got it till rough draft stage to show her. She and I went to another room and she watched and listened to it. I was told, even though I had taken out most of the mentions of God already, I needed to rewrite it again taking out the two verses at the beginning and the end of the movie, again "to deep".

 I didn't change anything. 

I told her I needed to keep those verses in, she let me, and even told me that mine was the most "well made" video out of the group! She still didn't agree with the message though. I tell you about this minor form of persecution to prove that you can be called to "give an answer for the hope that lies within you" at any moment, any time, in any situation.

I'm taking ground school (to get my pilots licence) at the moment, and have been extremely convicted of the fact that out of the six people in that room, I know I'll see one in heaven with me (he's made a public declaration of his faith through baptism); where are the rest headed when they die? I'm so grateful that God has given me sensitivity to that, but I know that I am now responsible to tell them about Him. I feel even more convicted of this when I think about the amount of people I've encouraged to stand up and be a light for Jesus. Am I willing to take my own advise? 

I honestly believe that yes, I am.

In that situation in Montreal, Jesus gave me the words I needed at the time I needed them. That doesn't mean I don't tremble at the thought of standing up and proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I have already failed him terribly, by not standing up for what I know caused Him sorrow, but I was convicted of the fact and repented (I haven't yet had a opportunity to correct the mistake, I believe I will in the very near future!) The verse that comes to mind is the one in Philippians 4:13 

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me."  

To take that verse very literally... I can do all things through Christ! That would change the way I do... well, LIFE! Wow, the thought kind of just startles that reality right into me! 

Let us not be a generation of worriers, but of warriors! We know who wins this battle!

  

a learning process

On one camping trip, this summer, God revealed something to me (or it finally got through my thick skull!)

My soul, wait silently for God alone....
Psalm 62:5

For You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined.

Psalm 66:10

 

 

I had a interesting learning experience that happened to drag through the whole summer. It was one of those things where you just keep learning and growing through a series of events! It pushed me to need to know if I wait for God alone. It was a serious test. Not in the fact that I struggled to know that Jesus is who I turn to when tests and trials come, but in the aspect of how I reacted physically, with friends and family.

I love and respect my Dad and sisters! They have always been there for me. Something that I've always found hard to take though from them is rebuke. And as they would rebuke me, I started distancing myself from them. I still loved them, and really I didn't even realize that I was doing it, it was a slow fade.

 

I got some good relationship advice today from a gentleman I really respect, he told me to just be honest. Just be honest. Honestly (no pun intended) if you aren't honest (again no pun intended) and truthfully forthright with those you love, it is hard to live in harmony with one another.

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.

Romans 12:16

 

I was trying to be wise in my own sight, most of the time this summer. If I had humbled myself and listened to what those that are wiser then me tried to tell me, I would've saved a lot of heartache. Thankfully, through that first verse and a few others, and my family, I saw where I was headed, and started to turn around.

O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
    and you have healed me.

 O Lord, you have brought up my soul from Sheol;
    you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit.

 Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints,
    and give thanks to his holy name.

 Psalm 30:2-4

I need to keep remembering that God isn't done with me yet, that I will continue to make mistakes, and learn. In the process of my life, I want people to look at me and say "That is a woman after God's heart" and that they would see Jesus, not Regan Wiebe.

My convictions are strong, I pray that I'll be able (through God's strength) to carry through with them.

 

When I am weak

I am back from two weeks of counseling at camp. I was taught a lot about myself in those two weeks. This verse was one of the few that I kept going back to during these weeks and after reading it you may guess how my time at camp went.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. ⁴ But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.                                                                  James 1:2-4 (NKJV)

 

This was, in a technical sense, my first time cabin leading. My first age group was ten to twelve. Within the first 24 hours of my first week, one of my campers was sent home. That was tough. I felt like I had failed in some sense, I just pray that in the short time we had her, that the love of Christ was shown, the gospel presented and her life impacted for Christ in some small way. When she left though, it felt like a weight was taken off mine and my co-leaders shoulders, we were free to give our attention to the rest of the girls in our cabin now, which as it turn out, they needed every last drop of it! 

 

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday morning, there was no conviction, no movement of the Spirit in these eight girls' hearts...... Wednesday evening devos........ the questions came like a flood and they didn't stop till those girls got onto the bus on Friday evening! My co-leader and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes, break-through! We talked a lot about heaven and hell, the reality of the spiritual world, creation vs. evolution, how we were all given a choice, we even touched on gay marriage! Jesus used this to get me searching for my answers, why do I believe what I believe? I knew all the sunday school answers but these girls wanted more then that, and when they would ask these questions, all the creation vs. evolution debate answers that I thought I'd memorized, left me, all the biblical references left me, I was just like 'OK God, your words not mine' ....... He came through every time! 

 

This second week was different in a lot of ways. My cabin ages were four to five years younger, they had a very hard time listening, and they were always on the move! I would go to sleep exhausted and wake up exhausted every day, those kids took it all out of me! I didn't become as attached to this group as my first week. I felt like I was constantly degrees away from boiling point, if you get what I mean. As some of us counselors were talking we all said that the kids seemed to be getting worse and worse! What was going on?!?!?! Then Wednesday night the Holy Spirit came on the camp. Boys that were known from running in circles all day stopped and started to pray and open up with the male cabin leaders, kids dedicated their lives to Christ, our cabin was silent as my co-leader gave devos, and Thursday at lunch one of my campers and I had a one on one where she asked questions about the gospel that I never thought I'd hear from her! Camp seemed to go better after that for me, knowing that when I am weak He is strong! 

 

The last morning staff meeting that we had was really special! We went around telling stories of how Jesus had moved that week at camp, then we went to the top of the hill and stood in a circle in the early morning air, and sang songs of praise and prayed....... the song Holy Spirit really felt special as we sang it!

 

I have lots of stories...... hail breaking windows, staff zip lining without harnesses, hurting my hand, cannonball contests at the pool, nicknames, archery injures (animals were harmed in the course of this week!)....... and much more!                       

//Victory//

 

Last night our family was having one of those spontaneous ‘gospel’ nights. We sit around the table, or on our couches downstairs, and talk about the gospel, the good news! We learn more about it, gain a new love for it, and have a few revelations about it! A revelation I got last night was the part about having victory in Jesus.

 

 

I personally have never liked storms. Especially since a tornado in Ellie, Manitoba when I was about 10. That tornado didn’t hurt anybody, but overhearing what the adults talked about after that, I gained a unabated fear of tornados. Then we had a wind shear go through our yard about two years later. That night was one of the scariest nights that I can recall in my life, I will never forget it. Ever since that night I can get myself very worked up if I even hear there is a thunderstorm forecasted where I am.

Recently I admitted this fear to a friend, unintentionally. After I told them, I had this sense of shame. Jesus would not live in fear like this, if I am in Him then why am I fearful? A few days before I had told them about this fear, I had gone through a thunderstorm where my Dad was gone and I was in charge. I almost freaked out. It was 6:00 am and everyone was asleep. I was pacing and not settled at all.

Finally I sat by my bed on the floor feeling sick, and I saw my Bible laying there so I opened it up to the book of Psalms and began to read. I would skim-read until I saw a verse about God as my rescue, or that He will deliver me. I prayed, and then I fell asleep. When I woke up the storm was over and I felt victorious! Really I wanted to tell everyone! (I didn’t!)

 

 

I grew up singing the song ‘Victory in Jesus’ and never took it to heart till last night. I have always known that the gospel isn’t just ‘getting saved’, it is living it out too. If we are in Christ, we have victory. If we have victory, we need to live in victory.

 

Last night the aspect of the gospel we talked over was Noah, how the story of Noah shows the gospel. In the boat they were safe, in Christ we are safe! In the boat they came out victorious, in Christ we are and will be victorious! Praise Jesus we can live in victory!  

 

A really good gospel message. 6 minute long.