You are brave darling

"His love is stronger then depression and fear" Laura Hackett Park - I Feel His Love

I had my "Worship" playlist running through this morning and that line caught my attention. It is so true and something that I had a big lesson on yesterday evening.
So I worked an eight hour work day yesterday of physical labor that was really satisfying but also tiring. I had scheduled a flight for that evening an hour after work which would have given me an half hour to get ready for flying typically but we had to work overtime a bit so I had about 10 minutes to get ready for flying... which if I was renting a plane would not be allowed due to the fact that I had no weather reports and I hadn't done my typical pre-flight prep work that I should do. So needless to say I was a little rushed and stressed and tired.

I got to the flight club and my instructor walked up to me and said (like he normally does) "So Regan. How's the weather looking today?" "Uh calm and pretty clear....?!" I replied sheepishly (I hate when I don't come prepared) He gave me a silly grin knowing full well that I hadn't checked the METAR (pilot weather reports) for that day. Then he winked at me and asked "So how are you feeling today? Ready for your solo flight?" I groaned audibly, "Uh, maybe...?!" as soon as I saw him smile "that smile" I knew that was coming...
"Regan I feel completely safe and confident sending you solo right now and you know its not your first solo so you have some experience. I'll come for one circuit if you want me too but only one, I want this flight to be all yours. You think about it and come tell me after your walk around. Okay?" I walked to the plane and opened the door to the cockpit. I texted two friends asking for prayer, then I commenced with my walk around of the plane making sure it was air worthy from the outside. 

If anything happens in flight it is almost always the pilot in command's fault... unless its a engine failure... but even then those can be prevented sometimes. So before any flight the pilot in command must make sure the plane is air worthy and safe, which means checking everything.

I deemed the plane air worthy and went and found Greg (my instructor). He came up to me and asked what my decision was. I asked him to come on one circuit with me. He stressed that he didn't think I needed him at all but would come to put me at ease. He said I had to start up the plane by myself though and that he'd meet me on the runway.
I completed the start up checklist, started the engine, checked my instruments, set my compass, did a radio check, completed my brake test and taxied to the runway were I picked up Greg.
*DISCLAIMER* Picking up someone with a running plane is not safe and I hate doing it. I would never recommend it, ever* 

I did my pre-takeoff tests for the plane (again making sure its airworthy) and then set up for takeoff. "Full power applied. Air speed alive. Portage North Hotel Charlie Foxtrot taking off runway one four doing circuit for full stop" and we were in the air. I get pretty calm once I'm up in the air but I knew had to land and drop off Greg. 

Once we were down and stopped he told me I did great and then unhooked his headset, got out of the plane and walked away. I backtracked the runway and then lined up for takeoff. I took a deep breath... Like a really deep breath. I knew I had to pray to try and calm myself so I prayed out loud. It's really weird praying out loud into a headset :)

Then I applied full power and was in the air in less then 30 seconds. When I turned base to final I was a bit high and a bit fast which made for a less then perfect landing so I had to backtrack once again. When I was backtracking at about walking speed I realized I had gotten a few texts so I checked them and they were from my boyfriend! I texted him that I was scared and he texted back   "God is with you Regan" at that moment all my fear left me. And I took off again but this time I wasn't scared! I flew till I was forced down due to the coming weather. I didn't want to land! I was having to much fun! But I still came down. ;)

So the moral of the story: Perfect love casts out fear. Do not fear for God is with you. I need that reminder often enough. To often. Christ is always with you. 

•Doing hard things•

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do, that I never wanted to do, I did this past weekend. Never mind that it happened right after a nerve racking flight. 

Something that I learned this weekend was... well I actually learned a lot of stuff this weekend... but one thing was that when you are in control of the plane you don't realize things that the other people in the plane realize. For example when taking from runway 31R in Southport, Manitoba I couldn't tell that the nose was to high. It felt fine when you have ten other things you are supposed to be doing and thinking about. But when you sit in the back seat of the plane you can totally tell that the pilot is in to steep of a climb.

So it is with life. When I am in a hard time or even just in daily life, other people can tell things about me that I can't. Sometimes you as the person in the situation can't see what the big picture might be. 

I know the pain of heart break. When you realize just how much someone means to you when you can't be with them anymore. It's hard. But I also know the God who knows the big picture and why things have to happen, for what purpose. He gives strength to get through it and he also knows exactly what you feel. 

He knows how you cry yourself to sleep every night. He knows your deepest fears. He knows the pain you feel, and as cliché as this may sound, He loves you and he will never leave you. Even the rough patches have a purpose behind them. They are all apart of a greater and bigger picture the no human can know. In a odd way it is a great comfort not knowing the big picture. I believe we as humans wouldn't do to well knowing what was coming in the future. 

I learned something a while back. When people of God or people you know would actually care about knowing the truth ask you how you are doing do you answer with the truth or with the accepted answer of "good". Fellow believers in Christ should be holding each other in prayer. They should be interceding on each others behalf. As a body, as the family of Jesus we should be there for each other when one of us is in need, going through that rough patch so to speak. So I have challenged myself to start telling the truth to my brothers and sisters in Christ that I know genuinely care about me. We all bring a different gift to the body of Christ and we are all needed.

God made us all with a passionate love that we can't even begin to comprehend. He desires that no one perish. So when life hits us with hard things. Things that we would rather not walk through remember this verse... 

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1   

....patience my dear....

I'm a big fan of doing things right, but I'm also a big fan of getting it done asap! "I'd like that thing done within twenty-four hours if that works for you!" But I'm learning that not all things happen fast. 

I'm in a situation in life where waiting and having patience is basically all I'm doing. It can be very trying, and I've had to hold myself back from doing something to make it go faster on many occasions. I have really had to slow down and look at the big picture. And that ain't as easy as it may sound! As my journal can well attest to! 

You see I have this friend.... well ok more than just a friend... one of my best friends! This best friend's personality is to take things slow, think through the possibilities and weigh the consequences..... most of the time that is. Where as I (compared to them) throw myself headlong into things and do stuff very spontaneously! They just look at me and shake their head. 

"Please tell me why I just did that!?" 

"Oh Regan...." :)

The Lord is showing me the benefits of the slow and gradual. Of waiting. Of having patience. Of being silent. 

When someone is going to have a baby it takes awhile for that baby to form and develop. The parents don't just all of a sudden have a child in their arms in less then twenty-four hours of finding out they're pregnant! 

No they wait! They anticipat! They pick names for the child! They ready a room for him. They talk to the baby so it will know their voices. They get others excited for the arrival too! They treasure the child before they even see him! 

I must learn to wait. To anticipate what is in the future but not ignore the present. I must nurture the room in my heart that is for the love of my life, Jesus! I want Jesus to know my voice, and I want to know His! I must get others excited for His arrival here and now! But the point I must always remember is to always be eternity conscious with a head on my shoulders. 

Not to ride a roller-coaster of emotions, but to be stable about who I am in the here and now. Serving Christ as I daily live life!

   "Have patience my dear!" - My Mom 

_alone_

There is a whole bunch of things that impacted my life this last year. Most of which tested and strengthened my faith in Christ Jesus! Although I'm not going to write about them, I think it is good to look back over your life and see God's goodness over the years! Not to dwell on the past mind you, but just see were God has brought you!

I kicked off the year of 2015 sick! And I think it did something to my logic! :)  I flew for the first time ever on June 28! And started flight school on October 23! I've now put over 50 hours into flight school study and only had forty-five minutes worth of flying! But my goodness it is so worth it!

Many people think I'm crazy! I think I got some of my mom's knack for spontaneity!

The feeling that comes with soaring over the prairie and seeing everything from above is really hard to describe. I wrote in my journal a few weeks ago a prayer that while in the air I wouldn't just see land, trees, houses and horizon, but that I would see God's goodness. That I would be thinking of Him!

I have the privilege of sharing flying lessons with a friend. So while he is in control of flying I get to sit back, relax and enjoy the view!

When he took off for the first time I stared out the window, my eyes fixed on the shadow of the plane becoming smaller and smaller, and nose up we climbed. Truly an exhilarating feeling!   

I watched the trees become toothpicks and the houses become toys. The little, seemingly toy, vehicles traveled on, navigating their way through the streets. I became increasingly aware of how small we really are! I felt as though I could just reach down and pick up that house over there and move it to a more convenient location in this game called life. Flying puts a lot into perspective.

I can see why flying would be a stress reliever.... you have no cares except keeping your plane in the air (which most times isn't as hard as it sounds!), and you then look around at life from a new perspective.

You feel alone. You and God.