{{Who's Desires}}

There are few things that I like better then to sit on my bed with the sun beams coming through the window, softly laying their warmth on my floor, a mug in my hand filled with chia tea, hot chocolate, mocha, apple cider, or whatever my taste buds crave that day, and a good book laying on my lap.
Sadly this is basically 'in my dreams' and has happened maybe twice in my life time!
When the chance arises, and the opportunity places itself in my hands this is what happens....
I (Regan) open one eye to view the alarm clock that is before me in my groggy 'don't tell me its morning already' state, turn my iPod on, close my eyes as Paul Washer starts to exhort me in the ways of Romans 12, I don't want to miss anything and don't want to pause it to get tea, so I slowly get ready for the day listening to him, no good books, no soft sun light, just groggy me trying to remember every word he preaches (which consisted of "the holy spirits path is discernible in the lives He touches" totally profound, if you think about it, yup I had to listen to it again, and again and....... again!) Even this rarely happens!

             Why is it that I have my perfect ideals, and yet the most touching, profound, and meaningful moments that God has put in my life have not changed my 'this is perfect', 'this is the way it should be done' ideas. Do I still trust Him with my life? Yes. Have I so let the world into my head and change my thinking, my ideals? Yes, probably more then I know. Yes it says that God will "give me the desires of my heart', but in C.S. Lewis's book the Voyage of the Dawn Treader in the part when they come to the place where ALL your dreams come true, do I think that ALL my thoughts have been pure, honorable, upright, and actually worthy of being given? No. Jesus Christ didn't die to give me the desires of my human heart, He died to make His desires mine. With that in mind, even though I think I know what should happen in my future, I want my heart so in tune with Jesus', that it burns with His desires.